Straight Talk About Pregnancy

You will find information about the following on this page:

Adoption vs. Abortion- the similarities and differences

10 Most asked Questions about Single Parenting

Adoption Myths

Straight Talk About Pregnancy

Adoption vs. Abortion

The Similarities

Misunderstandings about Adoption

Myth 1: Birth parents who care about their child would never consider adoption.

You may think that if you consider adoption for you child, you are a cold, uncaring, selfish person. Maybe you're afraid others will think you don't love your child. In fact, women who make adoption plans for their children are among the most courageous, for they put thier child's needs first. Arrangements can be made for you to speak with the birth parents who have already placed a child for adoption and struggled with this issue. You will see how much they love thier child. Allowing your child to be born, rather than choosing abortion, is a loving choice. Choosing to place your child with a family that can provide a stable, loving home is an act of love and sacrifice, not an act of abandonment.

Myth 2: A birth parent will never know anything about her child and his or her adoptive parents in the following years.

You may be thinking that you will never know anything about your child's future life if you choose adoption. Today, the sharing of information is very common. As the birthparents, you can help to develop an adoption plan that has the degree of openness you want.

Myth 3: Adoption is an irresponsible solution to an unplanned pregnancy.

You may be ruling out adoption because you think you would irresponsible if you made that choice. You may feel that your consequences for being sexually active or for becoming pregnant is to parent a child. Remember, just because you got pregnant does not mean that you are ready to be a parent. Even if you are able to be a wonderful parent when you are older or in a different situation, adoption is appropriate.

Adoption Myths Continued...

Myth 4: A birthparent will forget about the child released for adoption.

If you believe you must forget about your child when you choose adoption, your decision will be very hard to live with. If you make an adoption plan for your child, you will not forget and will not want to forget your child. You will want to live without being emotionally crippled by your loss. You will want to remember your pregnancy, your baby's birth, and those precious hours or days shared with your child in the hospital. When you remember, you will want to feel that you made the most loving, mature, and selfless decision possible, given the circumstances.

Myth 5: No one can love a child as much as the birthmother can.

Adoptive parents can love their child as fully and selfishless as biological parents. Good parenting is a matter of unconditional love and acceptance, consistently nurturing and caring in a way that puts the needs of the child first. Adoptive parents love their children as much as if they had given birth to them.

Myth 6: All adopted children grow up to have serious psychological problems.

You may have heard that adopted children have serious problems with drugs, alcohol, personal relationships, and mental illness. Research does not support this misunderstanding. Studies have shown:

Adopted and non-adopted children are similar in frequency of adjustment disorders, delinquency, and mental illness.
Adopted teenagers are as emotionally stable as non-adopted teenagers.
Adopted individuals do not have more family problem than non-adopted people.

Myth 7: A child does not really need a father.

Studies show that children benefit from having positive male and female role models. Two-parent familes, where fathers take their responsiblity seriouly and parents support each other, can be vital to a healthy childhood and strong family. Relationships, self-esteem, and achievement all can be positively affected when a child is able to grow up in a two-parent, loving home.

Myth 8: Birth parents will have emotional problems if they choose adoption.

Some birthmothers are afraid that if they choose adoption they will "go crazy" or never be happy again. When you realize such fear is caused by misunderstandings about adoption, you do not have to worry anymore. Your grief over losing your child can be painful, but that ability to grieve is a sign of mental health. Grief is not the same as mental instability.

Hope, Help, & Healing, Inc.

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